A Third Person Description Written by Jennifer's Inner Critic

What a deplorable wretch this one is! She may look normal or even pleasant-natured, but her inadequacies and shortcomings are so prevalent that they can not be ignored.

To begin with, this detestable urchin will lose and/or forget anything important. Things forgotten or lost include car keys, her cell phone, jewelry, gifts and returning phone calls .

In regard to returning phone calls, Jennifer may call you a week later with a lame excuse like "I'm sorry, but I've been so busy." Join the club Jennifer! We're all busy.

To further exacerbate her detestable phone etiquette, Jennifer will regularly forget her cell phone at her home, cutting off her main communication line with friends and family. "What if there is an emergency?" you may ask. Well, Jennifer's irresponsible ways prohibit her from being useful when truly needed.

Jennifer is also strange. She is afraid of needles, elevators, insects, ovens, stoves, getting lost, family members getting lost, crowds, roller coasters and losing items of importance. Her fear of needles has prohibited her from donating blood several times. This selfish imp would not donate life's ultimate resource due to her ungrounded phobia!

Jennifer complains about her anxiety. She has high levels of anxiety which may lead to depression. Jennifer is a full time student in a reputable college, while her parents are financially supporting her in everyway. Jennifer's grandmother survived the Holocaust, and her mother raised a child by herself while going to school and working full time at Jennifer's age. Yet there are some mornings when Jennifer can not get it together enough to wash her hair and make toast. Which one is not like the others here?

In conclusion, you should beware of Jennifer. She has got some issues.

Simplification is Always Best

The following is an original passage from “Abnormal Psychology” by David H. Barlow and V. Mark Durand:

“Although many nonthriving children have identifiable medical conditions, a substantial number fall into the category of nonorganic or psychological failure to thrive, known officially as feeding disorder of infancy or early childhood. Reduced caloric intake for whatever reason, always plays a role, but the causes of reduced caloric intake lie in the dysfunctional psychosocial setting” (Barlow & Durand, 2002).

I am a psychology major in my junior year. If there is one thing that I have learned about psychology textbooks, it is that they love to use complicated language and advanced terminology. This language can be a bit overwhelming, especially when the mind is tired or just refuses to concentrate. Although the selection above is by no means highly technical, it can be translated into more basic language.

The translation is as follows:

Although professionals can figure out why some children are not maturing physically, others have mental problems that disrupt their normal physical development. These children have disorders. Due mostly to stressful people and/or events in their lives, these children do not eat enough food (Barlow & Durand, 2002).

The language used in the translation is simpler and more direct. It conveys the message effectively without the use of distracting vocabulary and long sentences. Clear and concise language is always best. Readers can easily understand the basic idea and analyze it for themselves. With complicated language, readers spend more energy on processing the reading and may become tired, frustrated, or even bored with the material. Simple language is one of the key ways to effective educational writing.

Works Cited

Barlow, David H. & Durand, V. Mark (2002). Abnormal Psychology: An

Integrative Approach (Third Edition). Belmont, California:

Wadsworth.

The Absence of Modifiers

While I ran home, my mind wandered. Why was he screaming? Why did he call when he knew I was in class? Did an intruder break into our home? Was our grandmother injured while falling down the stairs? Did the dog run away?

I sprinted to the door. The call alarmed me during class. The professor was discussing grammar when the phone vibrated. I rushed out of the room and slammed my finger on the button to retrieve the call. I heard my brother scream and the call ended. I did not get a chance to respond.

As I pulled on the door knob, I realized that my brother locked it. I raced around the house and found a window that my brother forgot to lock. As I jumped to it, I grasped the ledge and heaved myself to the window. I struggled with the screen but was able to pry it open with my finger nails and teeth. I pulled until my hands landed on the bed beside the window. I kicked my legs to propel my body through the window.

I screamed and screamed for my brother. Where was he? I saw that there were puddles of water in the hallway that looked like footprints. I was out of breath but continued to run while looking for my brother. Then I saw him.

He had been in the shower and had my towel wrapped around his waist. He looked at me and pointed to the bathroom. As I proceeded, I saw what scared him. An insect the size of a grain of rice crawled around the tub while moving its antennae.

"He was crawling on me!" my brother screamed.

I took a tissue, lifted the bug, and brought it outside. My brother thanked me and went to the shower. The problem was solved; I saved the day.